Bid to be the best of the brochures

I quite agree William, my family were over here last year in the wet and there was nothing for them to do because they had already done the couple of attractions suitable for wet weather. Concentrate on the activities themselves, not the blurb!!

Come on girls! We should make more use of Dame Ellen and I also propose Rebecca Adlington. She is a great role model and recently retired so she should have time on her hands.

The IWCTIC need to realise that there is no point in producing an award winning glossy brochure if there is nothing of substance for the tourists to enjoy once they get here.

i would opine that the one on the pavement outside my front door is circa 12 ounces

Indeed, Mr Sykes. Or perhaps a seaside 'guess the weight of the dog turd' competition, or a 'smash the pensioner in the face' contest for acne-ridden hoodies.

or cut priced tickets to attractions, no scrub that, it wont happen

Inside they could have competitions to see who could find a public loo that was open or a TIC. Maybe even a spot the longest section of coastal path that hasn't got a diversion going inland because the original path has been washed away never to be repaired. Just the sort of things to attract tourism on the island.

What rubbish Paul. Schwarzeneger is a disreputable fellow and Button is too busy with his driving job to represent us properly. I would propose a reassuring and distinguished male, like Steve Rider and an attractive and feisty female such as Alex Polizzi. I think they would be a great combination and I welcome their views on all Island matters.

We are in desperate need of some new Island celebrities. Every time a cat gets stuck in a tree or a hoodie beats up a pensioner they wheel out Mark flipping King and John flipping Giddings to see what they think. I propose Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jenson Button to be our new celebrities. Next time a middle aged woman flymos her lawn in Chale I'll be straight on to them. Arnie could take King and Giddings both with one hand tied behind his back.

Any views or opinions presented in the comments above are solely those of the author and do not represent those of the Isle of Wight County Press.